Cynical Musings :|

Happy Bday to me..

I turn 29 today. Wow ! That's amazing. One short of 30. Am i any closer to my goals? Well.. No. Am i on the right track? Well.. Yes. Am i doing interesting things? Well.. Yes

Some good things happened in this year, met some awesome people, did a few new things, absolutely no progress in a few things and deterioration in a few. Learnt a great deal about myself in the past year. The year ahead? Well .. It's going to be look ahead basically. Look ahead in career, look ahead in life, build patience and bide for your time.

And am pretty sure my time under the stars would come. It's just a question of being patient and sticking it out.

Labels: Blah Blah, General Blah, Me Myself and Agony

Her daughter came running to her - "Mummy, mummy.. Santa claus gifted me this". It was a beautiful penstand. But looked as though someone had repacked an old gift.

The shopping mall was very crowded. Last minute christmas shopping was always maddening. She always liked doing things in a calm and methodical way. But her hubby was her exact opposite. "No Fun without a bit of last minute hurry" - he silenced her always.

"Mummy, mummy.. Look Santa gifted me this" - this time it was her son. He was proudly holding on to a santa mask. Again looked old. She grinned at her son and selected a couple of dresses to try.

"Merry Christmas Madam" - Santa claus loudly chuckled and came near her. She expectantly put her hand out for a gift. The gift was a greeting card. She tucked it inside her hand bag and opened the card in the trial room.

It was the same card she had given him years ago. Now everything made sense to her - the penstand and the mask. She flipped the card and found a small post-it.



"Merry Xmas" - it read

Labels: Mature, Me Myself and Agony, Musings, Slice of Life

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear karthik
Happy Birthday to me !

As years roll by, tears get dry, u get reminded of all obstacles covered and hurdles yet to be mounted. The race so far has been conquered alone but would there be a need for a companion to run the remaining distance? Will it be this year or is it too early yet for the companion?

Past year has seen some happy moments, some moments of sheer frustration, many moments of loneliness and despair. Not all went to plan, some plans went awry, some went absolutely right but broadly am in the right direction. With this hope, i head into new year with renewed spirit of optimism, hope and CHEER! (Hopefully less CHEER's!)

Labels: Blah Blah, Me Myself and Agony, Personal

"Platform Number 1 ki local 7:35 ke Belapur jaane wale dheemi local hai" - she stepped out of the crowded local and pushed her way through the crowd.

"I love Mumbai city, but hate the crowd. Why should every place be so crowded" - she remembered how her ex-boy friend always hated the city and locals for its crowd. "Well this is not your small town. Yeh hai Mumbai meri jaan" - she proudly told him as they usually hurried to catch a auto rickshaw in sharing.

The auto in sharing was an entirely different animal compared to the local. It was always a demand - supply mismatch during the peak hour outside the station. This resulted in all sorts of competition where people tried to push their way into the auto. "In India, you have to compete for every seat - ranging from college seat, MLA seat to an auto seat" - he always muttered to her as they jostled their way into a auto. "Shh. Why do you crib so much. Always follow the second auto strategy" - she said.

The second auto strategy was something which she had developed and applied to everything in life. Normally auto rickshaw's come one behind the other. The impatient crowd tries to fight their way into the first auto rickshaw. So someone who targets the second auto, usually gets an assured seat. In the same way, she always shopped in the second store, ate at the second hotel and even rejected her first job and took the second offer. "But how can you tell confidently that second one is the best" - he often questioned her. She used to shrug and smile off the question.

That night, as usual she got into the second auto and dialled her husband to inform him that she was on her way. As the rickshaw passed the neighbourhood sai baba mandir, she caught a fleeting glimpse of her ex-boyfriend. There he was with his kids and wife. "A cute happy family" - she smiled. As the auto passed by the temple, her thoughts were entirely on him. "Wish he understood that the secret behind the second auto was that she hated to fight - rather to compete and lose".

Labels: Fiction, Mature, Me Myself and Agony, Musings

"Kuch karo na" - she repeated for the umpteenth time over the phone.

He sighed helplessly. "Would she ever understand the kind of effort i put in? What can i do if things do not happen my way" - he wondered silently.

There was a lull in the conversation. He checked his watch - 40 minutes since the conversation had begun. 40 minutes *60 seconds = 2400/100 = 24 bucks. "Thank heavens for 1 paise/second schemes"

"Kya soch rahe ho" - her voice cut into his thoughts. "Kuch nahi..." - he left it trailing. Gone were the days when they shared the small insignificant daily things which make up life; bosses antics, the new neighbourhood girl, the cool new gadget being launched, Wayne Rooney's hatrick, her hair which was in a mess. These days the conversation centered about getting ahead in life.

"Ahead of whom, ahead of where" - he wondered. "Why should i force things to happen - after all Franz Kafka too started his life as a clerk" - he mused.

"Tum samajte nahi ho.." - she began again. "How about - Do not view life in small periods of 3 months/6 months. Let us look at the big picture" - he wondered.
"Naah.. This would not work" - he kept quiet.

"This too shall pass.." - he took aim and planted a blow on the mosquito

Bulls eye. The buzzing and pain stopped.

"Kuch karo na.."

It had not passed!

Labels: Fiction, Slice of Life